You do not live forever! You may think you do, but you don’t! Your life is not that long, endless as you may think it is. Your miserable job is not something you will always do. Your annoying partner is not someone you will spend eternity with. Your days are counted the moment you are born. So, in conclusion, you will die sooner than you except!
I, on the other hand do live forever just for the pleasure of growing sicker and sicker of your human kind!
Being a genie in a bottle has never been easy. Not only do I grow tired of my little room inside the bottle but whenever I get the chance to get out, I always meet some useless, pitiful human asking me the same bullshit over and over again. And here are the main rotten ones:
- Money. Oh how I feel like vomiting whenever I hear this wish. Money. Everyone wants money. Everyone wants wealth, luxury and money to spend in ten lifetimes. But you do not have ten lifetimes, you only have one so why do you need all that money? It is always the rich people who ask me for money. And once they grow even richer they become the most selfish people of them all. No one asks me for money in order to help others. They only want money so that they can make other people jealous, make others look at them and envy them. Everyone is so focused on what they have, what car they drive, what neighborhood they live in, what clothes they wear…pointless, completely pointless. When they die, they forget they can take nothing with them. Nothing! Zero!
- Love. You’d think wishing for love is something beautiful but no! They oblige me to make it happen. People always wish for some particular person to love them. Maybe the other person does not care so much about you, maybe that person wants a mind of his or her own instead of making them fall in love with you. Oh and the people who ask this of me, are always selfish and acidly bitter. If you like someone, just be yourself and if they don’t like you for who you are then move on! You will find someone just as crazy as you are so stop being so desperate about it!
- Happiness. Do you know how annoying it is to hear someone wish for happiness? How am I supposed to know what makes them happy? How can you wish for happiness when it’s not something you reach out for, like an egg or an apple? ‘I want to be happy’. What does that mean? How? What do you want? To smile like an idiot all day? Find out what makes you happy and just do it yourself. Happiness is just a state, it can’t be permanent so stop asking me that! Just do whatever you feel like doing to feel that warm feeling inside and don't bother me with it. Let me tell you what happiness is, it ain't being stuck in a bottle or lamp and waiting for you dumbass to make your greedy wishes!
- Beauty. All things age, except perhaps for the rocks but they do deform with time. All people want to look good. Not sure why because their lives are so short and meaningless. ‘I want bigger this or smaller that’, ‘I want to look pretty’, ‘I want my hair to look splendid’, ‘I want to look gorgeous in the morning’. Why? If you were all supposed to look like statues then you’d all have hearts of stone. Please don’t ask me to turn you into one. Besides it does not matter if you look beautiful if you are a selfish, vain and shallow person. Sooner or later, people will look beyond your mask.
- Time. ‘If only I can turn back time’, they always say, ‘then I’d do this or that’. ‘If only I could, I’d change my life’. I hate this wish. People always want to recreate their lives into the perfection they always dreamed of as children. But tell me this, if you are going to change and carve your past as you wish, can you still call it your life or is it just a script?
Ask me for these and I will respect you, perhaps even change my opinion on human kind.
- Money. ‘I wish all the money in the world disappeared.’
- Love. ‘I wish the love of my life is happy and has found someone to adore him or her.’
- Happiness. ‘I wish I can make other people smile.’
- Beauty. ‘I wish I never grow shallow and vain.’
- Time. ‘I wish I have the courage to do the things I want in life and repair the mistakes I’ve made, one way or another.’
- Eternity. ‘I wish others will remember me for the good person that I was and that they smile whenever they mention my name.’