31 December 2014

La multi ani cu sanatate 2015!

 
 
 
Anul nou bate la usa si eu ma tot plimb prin casa ca nu stiu cu ce sa ma imbrac si ma gandesc cam cat o sa dureze diseara pana ma imbat la maxim…cred ca pe la un 18.00 sunt deja ametita si la 21.00 devin melancolica. Pana la ora 00.00 nu mai am chef de nici-un revelion, an nou sau orice speranta pentru un 2015 frumos pentru ca asa cum gandesc in fiecare revelion: ‘anul asta tot de rahat va fi!’ Cam asta e starea mea in aceasta dimineata. Am facut cumparaturile, mancarea din Olanda nu se compara cu delicioasa masa din Romania dar hai incercam, ce sa facem si noi? Am facut putin curat prin casa, bradul meu saracul a inceput sa cheleasca din ziua in care l-am cumparat si in fiecare zi o gramada de ace pe jos. Dar nu-l arunc cum arunca Olandezii o zi dupa Craciun, il las acolo sa faca atmosfera de revelion. Diseara nu am nici-un plan, n-am rezervari la club sau la restaurant ca deh sunt in Olanda ce naiba…nu ca nu se procedeaza si pe aici asa dar pana ajung eu in Amsterdam sau in Rotterdam si pana ma intorc…ca trebuie cu trenul avand in vedere ca vreau sa si beau…Pai lenea e mare si rezultatul nu e deloc spectaculos…cei care au avut experienta de petrecerile de revelion din Olanda ma inteleg, cei care nu stiu, viseaza la un adevarat paradis cu artificii cu miros de cascaval si lalele colorate zburand prin ceruri…a da si DJ’s imbracati in mori de vant…hmm cred ca exagerez dar asta e. Nu am baut inca nimic dar sunt destul de cinica azi.

Dar stati oameni buni ca nu sunt aici sa va stric cheful pentru diseara. Sunt aici sa va amintesc de momentele frumoase…bine bine nu am inceput bine dar o sa incerc sa va inveselesc.

Adica ok se mai intampla din cand in cand sa avem un revelion de rahat…la mine revelioanele frumoase le pot numara pe degete. Dar macar le pot numara si imi aduc aminte de ele razand. Dand buzna la o petrecere unde nu am fost invitata si dansand pana dimineata cu niste straini care devenisera prieteni peste noapte, asta da revelion! Purtand pantalonii unui baiat cand el purta fusta mea si dansand asa ca o nebuna…merge merge. Aflandu-ma in mijlocul Londrei gata gata sa ma storceasca aglomeratia si neputand vedea artificiile de fum si de capatinile tampite de turisti? Un revelion mai putin confortabil dar cu o amintere tampita pe cinste. Sezand pe canapea si uitandu-ma la televizor la videoclipurile anului…un revelion mai putin grandios…Dar asta e cu sarbatorile de anul nou, unele sunt rele, altele nebunesti, altele frumoase, ca si zilele din viata noastra. Nu pot fi toate frumoase pentru ca atunci nu am mai putea aprecia momentele care au meritat cu adevarat, in care ne-am simtit fericiti si bine.

Zic ca ingredientele cele mai bune la revelion sunt: bautura, dispozitia buna si oamenii in jur de care tie drag. Si cam atat. Daca le ai pe astea esti castigator. Corijez, daca le ai pe astea si le apreciezi atunci esti castigator! De multe ori nu ne dam seama de ce avem pana nu e prea tarziu. Apreciaza ce ai, chiar daca nu e mult si bucura-te de acum, nu te mai gandi la maine sau viitor, macar o noapte nu o face. Bea, danseaza si rade daca ai pofta. Daca esti single, agata si tu (cu undita) un baiat frumos sau o fata draguta si danseaza pana dimineata. Stiu, stiu, care sunt sansele nu? O gramada din noi viseaza la o iubire perfecta, romantica cu care sa te uiti la artificii, sa bei sampanie si cu care sa dansezi pana cazi jos..asta vor femeile ca majoritatea barbatilor vor doar una ‘misto si dotata’ cu care sa se distreze pana dimineata. Oricum, daca te trezesti cu el sau cu ea in pat maine dimineata, bravo tie J Suna-ma si pe mine si spune-mi de aventura ta. Dar nu prea devreme maine ca sigur o sa am o durere de cap pe cinste.

La multi ani oriunde va aflati si nu fortati sentimentele, simtiti-va cum vreti voi si faceti ce vreti ca deh e revelionul nebunilor!
 
 

18 December 2014

Merry Christmas Stories!


Because it's going to be Christmas soon, I am feeling rather merry and for that reason I will share with you some of my happiness...bloody, gruesome, bones cracking happiness. And I will do it with the next lovely Christmas stories…


Little Andy
Little Andy couldn't wait for Christmas day to come. His mother had been preparing all kinds of meals and little Andy had helped his mommy in the kitchen as best as he could. He helped her with the pumpkin cake and the chocolate chip cookies, even though he ate a few cookies afterwards, for they were very yummy. He helped her with the sweet potato pie and the salad dressing so on Christmas day everything would be ready. 'Just the Turkey in the oven, little Andy,' said his mommy and we will be good to go.

On Christmas day little Andy had a smile on his face. He was present at the Christmas dinner surrounded by mommy and her friends and he was smiling as wide as he could. Well, the smile was a little too wide for he had an apple in his mouth. His eyes looked a little strange, red, puffed...cooked. For you see Andy's mommy was a cannibal and little Andy was the Turkey she was talking about. Little Andy's head was put on a big plate in the centre of the Christmas dinner table while his mommy and her friends, cracked his head open while steam coming out, spooned out his brains out and ate him all up for he was very young and yummy.


The neighbor
Miss Markus was a lonely old woman with a heart of gold. Her husband had died ten years ago and her children moved away to different countries. They were always too busy to visit her around Christmas and so Miss Markus always spent her Christmas days watching TV, alone and sad for she missed having a family. On Christmas day she went to her neighbor, a sweet, friendly woman, to wish her Merry Christmas. She stood on the porch and knocked.

'Hello there!' said the woman smiling. 'We were just having dinner.'

‘Merry Christmas!’

‘Oh how sweet, Merry Christmas to you too!’

'There is something red around your mouth,' said Miss Markus. It looked red with white chunks in it. It must have been cherry pie. The woman wiped off her face while Miss Markus thought of that warm and delicious cherry pie.

'Oh my, how clumsy of me. Why don't you come in?' said the woman.

'I wouldn’t want to intrude.’

‘Oh no, not at all!’ said the jolly woman.

‘Really?'

'Yes, of course. We just enjoyed little Andy so much and now we can enjoy you!'

Miss Markus entered the home filled with hope and love. 


The puppy
A few days before Christmas a puppy was born. He was given birth then abandoned, out there on the streets, for he was a street puppy. He trembled in the winter blizzard, his little eyes trying to figure out where he was and what the world was like. He was hungry, cold, alone and confused.

Suddenly he was lifted up, up in the sky. 'Hello there!' said a friendly face. A woman looked at him and smiled. 'You will do just fine,' she said. 'Last Christmas, little Andy helped me with the Christmas dinner but you will have to do this year.' The puppy licked her face for she seemed so nice and her hands were warm and comforting. ‘Oh how sweet!’ she chuckled. ‘We will enjoy you to the fullest!’

The puppy was taken in, cared for and fed until his tummy ached. And on Christmas day he sat on his warm blanket as Andy's mom sang Christmas songs with her friends.


You sick fucks! You wanted Little Andy’s mom to eat him up didn’t you? It's a puppy we are talking about! Are you crazy?!


I wish everyone a Merry Christmas, don’t take life too serious especially around the holidays and...don't eat anyone!