23 November 2012

Happy end of the world!

With this ends the commercial of the new Axe fragrance and it very much suits my topic for today. If the end of the world is indeed the 21st of December then I guess we have less than a month to do everything we were planning to do in a lifetime. Though I think most of us will just, eat, shit, watch the new Hobbit movie and die by the time the world will come to an end.

What if the end of the world does not take place this soon? Do we still deserve a second chance? I don’t know if you’ve looked around you lately but the world is becoming harsher with the second. Not that it was all peachy in the medieval times, but hey, back then, if you didn’t like someone you could have just chopped his head off, so there was some kind of justice back then. People ate more healthy…more or less and everything you bought was more natural than these days, including women J And that joke would have been funny back then but not anymore. Now we have feminism that only applies in some cases, we are equal but hell men still have to treat us like the…tender sex. Now we have rules that only apply to some, taxes that only apply to poor people, justice that only applies to the dishonest ones, healthy food and great clothes for the ones that did nothing but fart their whole life long and the beautiful digital world that brings us closer to one another…on our iphone screen.

It is true, we don’t have the old diseases and plagues anymore but hey we have cancer and that beats it all. Though we know there is a cure for it, we don’t receive it because then, there would be too many people on earth and where would the rich people find their peaceful common-people free places?

We don’t work that much anymore but now we have offices and big buildings where everyone wastes away from dusk till dawn or was it the other way around? People that used to make a living with their bare hands aren’t good anymore. They need to work on computers, their skills being misunderstood for lack of education. And education? Man don’t get me started on that one. We know less then yesterday and today we know more than tomorrow. History became history. Now the more important things in life is what you wear, where you go on vacation, what you own and who you hang around with.

How many of us still care about the rest, how many of us realize that we’re on the verge of going extinct, a new inhuman race about to emerge: the ignorant society hiding behind the digital and fast world of today? Wars still take place and people still kill each other on a daily basis but hey, it ain’t happening on my street. Don’t get me wrong, I am not any better but I certainly ain’t worse.

So no end of the world? Can’t say I won’t be a little disappointed. I am not sure if I want to witness this world fading away, the goodness and beauty only to be found in hidden corners and behind shy drapes. Love being misunderstood for sex and sex for love. Paper running our world yet it is almost the same paper that we use to wipe our asses with…No, I’d rather it stops now. Make it end with Ragnarok, make the world explode and then…just as softly as it was brutal, make it rebuild itself and let us start all over again. And that is what I call a second chance.

30 October 2012

Samhain

We still celebrate it though the Romans tried to take it from us, changing it in the treacherous All Hallows' Eve. We are still here, though you pass us by thinking we belong to the background of your simple, pitiful life. We have waited all year long, planned it carefully so when it comes we will be ready.

You think you belong to it? Carving out pumpkins, painting your face and watching scary movies? Ah, but you are a mere fool, for Halloween has more to it than monsters and witches. It's so much more though you cannot comprehend. We, on the other side, understand it, feel it and await the witching hour as the minutes pass.

You stay in your little home, on your little couch and pretend it's all a game. But it is safe for you to stay in than out. Pray to your Gods you do not meet us in the night, if you hear those footsteps following you, don't look behind, sleep on time and forget the night is even special because then, perhaps that way you may be able to save your soul.

We will stalk the night, we'll wake up the dead, we will unleash the creatures that hide every year awaiting their moment of salvation. We will cry to the moon and it will hear us. For those who understand it, it's the most beautiful thing you can ever imagine. We will walk right across your home, your street and you won't even notice for it is Halloween the night for those who truly see and an innocent, candy eating night for the blind.

Go home on time, sleep in your little bed for the night belongs to us and we will enjoy it to the spine shivering fullest...

05 October 2012

Gusttavo Lima, nós te amamos!


Yesterday I took my mom to see Gusttavo Lima in Amsterdam, The Sand. Who the fuck is Gusttavo Lima, you ask? Well his name is actually Nivaldo Batista Lima, a Brazilian 23 year old singer of Brazilian country music. His best known single is Balada Boa (Tchê Tcherere Tchê Tchê). I saw some live shows on youtube and I found him outstanding, especially the mix of confidence and modesty as he sat on a chair, sang and played his guitar as if among friends.

So, yesterday we went to see our golden boy and the show started at 19.00. That’s what it said on the tickets and all over internet, the show starts at 19.00. So we were there at 18.45. Of course we knew there would be some opening act or something because no show actually starts at exactly 19.00 but we wanted to be there on time. I didn’t realize that by saying ‘starts’ it meant ‘the doors open at’. And there we were standing in line, in the beautiful Dutch rain and coldness. At about 19.15 we started moving and after a good old frisking (they almost threw away my vitamin C ‘cause it might have been drugs…), we were inside. Well we had to pay for everything, lockers, bathroom, drinks though the last one is just normal (although it would be nice to get a free drink once in a while). We sat down, close to the stage and the music eventually made us shake our shoulders a little bit. They were playing Michel Teló, yet another Brazilian celebrity. It was 20.00 and I watched the stage, it looked very peaceful. The crowd was mostly Brazilian, mixed with some lost Dutch people and other cultures. I like the Brazilian music and the people are so warm and friendly, though some men need to shake their asses a little less when they dance...Then it was 20.30 some were rehearsing for the big show but then at 20.45 they left. At that moment a host came on stage making the crowd go wild for our Gusttavo Lima. Of course he spoke Brazilian and we didn’t understand a word but the enthusiasm we understood, until his mouth would not shut up and then it got boring. At 21.00 he left and there was music again which was even repeating itself by now. The band was still lurking around and trying out their instruments. Then the guy came again, then he left and then eventually at 21.20 when I reached my boiling points he introduced our lovely Gusty.

The crowd was going wild but the sound was terrible (not to mention that a Brazilian enthousiastic fan was constantly waving a Brazilian flag blocking my view). And sometimes it was just a lot of  messy noise. But our Gusty managed. He looked different then the way I saw him in his youtube concerts. He changed his hair in a half shaven half ‘wildy’ peacock style, he had worked out showing off his muscles and he got himself some new tattoos. He wasn’t that modest anymore and perhaps that made him less charming in my eyes. But I guess seeing all those starving, screaming girls all around you, wanting to rip the clothes off your body, that does something to a young man. Even so, he still has a great, absolutely incredible voice, his energy is contagious and luckily he still got that cute little ass of his that he slowly shook from time to time followed by enthusiastic female and certainly also male cries.

And so in conclusion, Gusttavo Lima, you were great, though I am not completely happy with your Hollywood change. But please, I beg you, next time, don’t keep us waiting that long.

02 October 2012

The Kamasutra Fair


In my YOLO story I have told you about my activities in the next months and this was one of them. I, of course, could not go on without sharing this tremendous experience with you.

As a ‘fun, us girls’ activity last Saturday a friend of mine and I went to the Kamasutra, the Erotic Lifestyle Fair. What did I expect? Well, something related to the arts of making love, sensuality and well…some hot people. What did I find? Not the things I just mentioned.

Ok, ok so what we went in the afternoon? The fair lasted until midnight but surely it had to be fun the whole day long? Wrong, we came in and soon came to the miserable conclusion that we were a minority in the love making fair. I didn’t know that these kind of fairs are also very attractive to the seniors among us. And with senior I just mean corpses. Sorry grandma, I don’t mean it like that but God, I never expected to see people your age at such a happening. There were a lot of old people and they were all…excited about the fair. We ignored it to a certain extend and took a look at the activities in the fair. There were special places where you could run around with your partner in a labyrinth and…you wouldn’t be alone, a lady show and other dark and sweaty places but we had to pay to go inside and we couldn’t peek so we thought fuck it. And so, we decided to take a look at the shops. We saw so many…instruments of love making that some were just to be laughed at but some were very interesting, though I don’t think they are made for just anyone. Let’s just say I saw a certain male object almost as big and thick as a baby and one can only wonder what (or actually how) a lady would actually do with just an object, by the way it was 50% off. Anyhooters…yes many of those too but not that beautiful. There was a SM corner, ladies and gentlemen, where love making took the next level in horrible, excruciating pain. Naked men with masks were put under different tests and endured each one of them becoming more and more…proud of their achievements, anyone getting this? No? Good. Of course no filming or pictures were allowed which I completely understand. The pain the men were experiencing was hilarious, but we were the only ones giggling. I think the rest was taking notes. But how can we not laugh when just next to us a man, with his wife at his side, was enjoying a male shaped lollipop, sucking and licking it with such passion that we couldn’t stop looking at him. Maybe it was just good candy :)

There was a stage also where different shows took place. One was with a charming pumped up gigolo and a nerdy girl screaming her lungs out just by looking at the guy. Our gigolo was of course too busy with himself to notice that the lady in question was sliding down her chair…But I must say during the show I have seen a different side of Alice in Wonderland and the Crow. Yes, Alice was very much in love with the Mad Hatter and they really wanted to show it to us. Let’s just say her mouth was very good at play backing. And the Crow, oh Lord from all the movies in the world they decided to make a Kamasutra version of this movie. For those who don’t know me I was a devoted fan to Brandon Lee, the deceased actor who played in the Crow. What I saw Saturday was no way to pay tribute to the movie. The Crow, a masked mister and his lovely…dead wife had an act which was kinda of SMish but not as painful as the SM we had experienced in the SM corner. Never seen the Crow with wax pouring on his…in his underpants…It’s a one in a life time experience.

Perhaps you’ve already tasted my opinion but the Kamasutra fair was basically not what I had expected.  I thought Kama Sutra, the ancient Indian Hindu art of love making and sexual connection would be present at the fair teaching us new tricks and making us more aware of our physical and mental temptations but unfortunately this was not the case. What we faced was some slated porn stars and old perverts while the fair failed to create a sensual or at least a pleasant atmosphere for the ones who were expecting to see something more.

But at least now we know what the fair is all about. And it wasn’t all that bad, I found meself a nice Halloween witch costume (and it looks quite decent too). Didn’t expect to find it at a Kamasutra fair but hey, why not?

So for the ones out there who are thinking of going to the Kamasutra fair next year…gives us girls a call, we might come along (for a new Halloween costume of course) :)

25 September 2012

Oktoberfest, jawohl


A friend of mine is going to the Oktoberfest in Theresienwiese (Wiesn), Munchen and so here is some information on what Oktoberfest is all about.

First of all, for those who are unfamiliar with this...ganz losgehen...Oktoberfest or Die Wiesn is an annual celebration in Germany embracing beer, life and...beer.

It all started in 1810 when crown Prince Ludwig, later King Ludwig I, married the Princess Therese of Saxe-Hildburghausen on the 12th of October. The lovely Munich citizens were invited to take part of the festivities and the fields where it took place were named Theresienwiese (‘Theresa's meadow’). Horse races took place and then they eventually became annual which created the Oktoberfest to be annual as well. The horse races lasted until 1960 ‘cause who gives a shit about a horse race when you’re seeing pink elephants, but the sweet Oktoberfest remained.

The Munich Oktoberfest originally took place during sixteen days up to, and including, the first Sunday in October. In 1994, the schedule was modified in response to German reunification so that if the first Sunday in October falls on the 1st or 2nd, then the festival would go on until October 3 (German Unity Day). And I am so wikipading my ass right now....

Anyhooters they say, but I don’t think it’s true, that large quantities of beer (of minimum 6%) are consumed during these days but you know, people exaggerate J I think people also drink wine…

What to expect when you’re there next Saturday? Well:

Saturday
22.09.12
11.00 a.m.
 
Arrival of the tent patrons with parade through Munich.
Saturday
22.09.12
12.00 p.m.
 
Tapping of the first Octoberfest-beer-barrel by the Munich mayor in the Schottenhamel Tent. No one drinks beer until this hottie says GO!
Sunday
23.09.12
10.00 a.m.
Traditional costume parade through Munich.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Monday
 
 
 
 
24.09.12
09.00 a.m.



12.00 p.m.
Oktoberfest tour for 1200 preschool children, invited by the City of Munich, the performers and the hosts. So if you don’t like children, beware!

Special lunch for senior citizens in the big tents…No comment…or should I…no....

By the way if you hear someone screaming follow the Münchner Kindl. Don’t worry, it’s all right. It means "Munich child", the symbol on the coat of arms of the city Munich. He’s the one leading the march so it is best to follow him indeed.
 
The costumes will be very exciting. The men wear Lederhose, showing off their sexy legs and perhaps, if lucky you can take a glimpse at their Weisswurst J

The women wear Dirndl, pardon my German. A Dirndl is a traditional dress consisting of bodice, blouse, full skirt and apron. But usually you will notice the melons popping out here and there, everywhere. By the way if you’re looking for a flirt then be aware, where the bow or knot is located signifies a lady’s marital status. A bow on the left indicates being single, a bow on the right means she is married, engaged, or taken, a bow in the front/middle indicates a virgin, while a bow tied on the back means she is widowed. Gonna be looking out for the bow in the middle huh?
 
And now some practical shit, the prices for one liter of beer will be about € 10,00. I know but Oktoberfest is serious business. For the smokers out there, smoking is still allowed in the festival tents but only in special areas. There are 1,800 available but don’t be surprised if they’re all taken, so carry a bag at all times. Because of numerous injuries from…’scrapes to deep cuts from broken glass’…yeah right, no more glass-bottles are allowed at the Oktoberfest any more. This year people will try to cut themselves with plastic cups J If you ever wanted to experience an exorcism or visit a haunted…toilet, Edmund Heckl’s Shocker is the right place to go. Seven new rooms wait for courageous visitors or someone looking for a toilet.

And here are some important numbers:

Got a smashed head or are you in a coma?
+49 (0)89 50 22 24 24
You accidentally set someone on fire?
112
Someone just stole your pipi bag?
110
Someone stole your pipi bag at the Oktoberfest?
+49 (0)89 500 32 20
Lost your boyfriend and Found a new one?
+49 (0)89 233 82 825
Lost boyfriend and Found new one at the Oktoberfest?
+49 (0)89 233 96 045
Wanna check if you missed your flight (too drunk to leave)
? +49 (0)89 97 52 13 13
Can’t walk so need a cab?
+49 (0)89 21 61 0
You wanna be on the news?
+49 (0)89 233 30 211

No but seriously, it’s going to be fun. For all of you out there going to the Oktoberfest, enjoy the beautiful tradition, the crazy beer oceans and share the German hospitality with whoever you are. 

Jetzt kann’s losgehen!

11 September 2012

YOLO

Has it been that long? I realize I haven't posted in a while and that we are in the month September now...how did time fly so fast? I had the feeling Eye was getting ready for the summer and here we are, winter again. Well, first autumn but in Holland I just call it winter already. It's time for the movies, tv shows and computer games to make their way through my life again. Though my eyes still aren't coping that well with intensive activities. Oh well, it could have been worse. Know that expression 'no matter how bad you feel it can always get worse?' Fuck that expression. Who came up with it? We gotta change it, anyone any bright ideas?

So, I ain't here to depress you guys. We gotta make something out of the dark months coming ahead. I mean...YOLO. Anyone know this shit? YOLO = you only live once. What a great smart thing to say. 'Hey man, I fucked up.' 'Well bro, go out have fun, yolo.' 'Hey honey, I just shoved an axe in our neighbour's head.' 'Oh darling, yolo.' Who the fuck came up with this YOLO crap?  I say KMA.

Anyhooters...moving on to the highlights of my past few weeks: came back from Romania, great time, nice weather, went too fast etc. etc. Went to see Nickelback last Sunday and I loved them (I will forgive them for hanging out with Avril Lavigne) and Daughtry was the opening act so I screamed, jumped and danced my ass off. Saw the movie, 'Ted'. I recommend it to everyone. I love a teddybear who swears, gets high and beats up Marky Mark. But seriously, it was great so go and watch it...oh and get a teddybear and make a wish for it to come alive. I did that last night so I am still waiting for it to walk in the room any moment now...Moving on...still busy with the last changes in my book and I will proudly present it to you...so very sooooonnnn....;). And went to a book convension where my heaven awaited with oh so many books to buy. Got me a couple of course and they will be standing in line to be read...maybe my teddy can help me...

And looking at the next months I will be checking out the Elffantasy fair (it's dorkish but hey, yolo).  I'll stop by the Kamasutra convension...hope the teddy will come to live 'till then so I can take him with me and enjoy his filthy comments. Gotta get prepared for Halloween. No, no, no not like last year, http://www.niguanta.blogspot.nl/2011/10/my-fist-halloween-in-holland-and-it-was.html this year I will keep the doors closed and will decorate the house in a blood gushing, guts hanging 'ambiance' and get lots of booze and horror movies and invite some friends over...their teddy's are also welcome. I might check out Germany for a weekend, see what they've been up to and plan some cool trips for next year. I know it doesn't sound much but we'll make up some new cool activities as we go along.

Hope all of you are doing well and if the dark times are making you feel like shit, plan some nice things the next months and get in that 'I can see my guts falling down the floor' mood for the oh so wonderful Halloween. And don't forget...yolo...

ps: My teddybear just came to life and he said: fuck YOLO! (just the expression, not Yolo County, California)





 

29 July 2012

The LOS in my head


I should be honest with you. I am sick. I am terribly sick in my head. All my life I felt restless, extremely happy or extremely sad, energetic, alive or miserably dead, in love or sick of everything around me. After years of tests, scans and talking endless hours with the best shrinks I could find, I was diagnoses with the Little Ones Syndrome, the LOS.

I will try to explain in plain words what the LOS means. First of all, it's something you are born with and something that cannot be cured, only managed. The next information may come as shocking to some: all humans are born with Pixies in their heads. I call them Pixies but they are just little creatures, looking like people so I guess Pixies is the best way to describe them. They control the mind and tell you what to do and how to feel. You can sometimes try not to listen to them but it depends on the Pixie and on your willpower. I, for example am a very weak little thing and Pixies can very easily take advantage of me. But that's not the LOS yet. The LOS is when things go wrong, instead of one Pixie, you get more Pixies, which leads to total chaos.

When I was born I became the unfortunate hostess of four pixies. These four Pixies have different opinions and ideas. Most of the time they disagree with each other. Can you understand the torment I have been going through? Now, let me tell you something about the Pixies in my head.

First of all there is Lola, yes like the Copacabana song. She is full of life, energy, she wants to dance, sing, meet new people and have as much fun as she can. Love is temporary, pleasure is an every day necessity and responsibility is a word unfamiliar to her. She wants to enjoy life and do as much as she can. She knows she can only live once. Why bother with things that she doesn’t want to do or places where she doesn't want to be in? She loves the sun, the beach, money, party all night long and she is crazy about cocktails and beautiful flirty men.

Second, we have Iulia. Iulia believes in eternal love, one soul mate only exists for her. She believes you shouldn't fool around with other men but love one man, only one who is worthy of her love. She believes in a steady job, a job in which she can help others and a balanced life. She loves to be home and take care of the ones that really matter to her. She believes that life is supposed to be shared and not kept selfish to one's own purposes. She loves her family and would love a home in the mountains with a forest at her side and beautiful nature to welcome her every morning.

Then there is Nhor. Nhor is a manly man and he is aware of the dangers that life beholds. Yet he knows he is strong enough and beautiful enough to survive it all. He is a mobster, a philosopher, a Casanova and a barbarian. Death is something he does not fear and physical pain is on every day basis. He hates women who expose their emotions all too often and people who are dumb and weak. Nhor travels from one place to another, gains as quickly as he loosed his money and does not need a steady home.

The last one is Derrios. He lives alone hidden in a dark castle. His face is scared and he does not show it to anybody. His life is miserable and he believes in no kindness or love. He believes humanity has come to its end and only death can relieve him from the torment he has to face every day. He does nothing, feels nothing but pain, sorrow and regret.

So you see Lola often fights with Iulia, Nhor hates Derrios and then there are the fights between Lola and Derrios, Iulia and Nhor.

Why have I explained this to you? In case, one day, you start thinking that I might have multiple personalities, please remember, that is not true, I suffer from the LOS.

Anyone else who suffers from the same disease?




12 June 2012

Thirty, flirty and speedy....

Well today I turned thirty. Yes 30!!!!! and even though the morning mirror spat in my face when I woke up, I still had a great day, thanks to my honey bunny cheeks a.k.a. my boo.

I had my first motorcycle lesson and it was very cool. I loved it even though I thought I'd shit in my pants every 5 seconds. I never thought that riding a motorcycle would be so complicated. The people that are now reading this and have a motorcycle license probably think right now: what'ya talkin' about sweetcheeks? But I found it difficult because you have to take many things into account and you use your hands for speed, break (front wheels) and clutch and you have to use your feet for break (back wheels) and gear.

Besides it all, I have to take into account that I am a very little fragile girl who is trying to control a 180 kg Honda CBF. So that all made it a little difficult and made me a little nervous which made my right hand touch the speed from time to time with the risk of becoming a Speedy Hondzales and craching into whatever lay in my way. But the instructor was very patient and very cool. He explained everything to me and didn't take any risky steps.

Then this happened. The moment he was saying how well I was riding and how calm I was, I hit the breaks, looked down (something you should never do, always look straight ahead) and I fell, with the motorcycle falling with me, no actual damage was done :) just my pride and my confidence. Then I got back on the motorcycle again and had a last heroic round.

Anyhooters, it was a very cool experience that I had to share with you. Now that I have entered my midlife crisis I am considering taking more lessons and getting myself a nice motorcycle so that I can go on a roadtrip and have the chick version of 'Wild Hogs'.

10 June 2012

Teşekkür ederim


Thank you Turkey, this is the best way to describe my holiday that seemed a dream passing by way too fast. It was only Friday night when I was staring out at the view from the balcony wishing the night could last forever.

We, my mom and I, went to Gumbet, Bodrum for one week. And that week was painfully too short.

I will tell you the things that went wrong first and then the nice things I've experienced. First of all Onur Air. No offence, it was the worst flight/s of my life. On our way there it seemed the plane had turbulences all the time yet the weather was wind free...There was no food on the plane unless you wanted to pay gold for it and when I was hungry enough to pay the gold, they had no more food, only noodles for 6 euro's. So noodles it was. I’m immediately going to tell you about the flight back. It was even worse. People had seat numbers on rows 33, 34 while the plane ended at row number 31...This time I knew I had to bring some food with me but I didn’t feel like eating. Not eating was a good choice because the landing made my stomach rise up to my throat. Horrible, just horrible. I was glad to have made it out of there.

Second: Neckermann reizen. People, people, never go with this company, ever. They were very chaotic. We were picked up with a bus at the airport when we landed in Bodrum. They said the bus would take us to our hotel. Then we were taken to a central location, they put our luggage out, no communication. After asking around it seemed we had to take other mini busses. Then the driver (I did feel very sorry for the poor guy) didn't know the road so he drove us around like an hour asking people on the street about the hotels and where they were. He didn't speak a word in English and the road was becoming more dangerous as he became more restless. Some kid in the bus got sick so he pucked this longs out, people were getting very annoyed. You get the picture. We were supposed to be in the hotel at around 16.00. Due to this and to Onur Air we were there at 19.30. We had no idea what time we would be picked up on our way back and at the hotel reception no one knew spoke sufficient English to understand what we meant. Eventually we found out but we had everywhere around for it.

No more bad parts, now the good parts. First of all our hotel, the Royal Asarlik was a very nice location. I can't say our room was four stars worth but it was fine. The restaurant was cozy, people were friendly and the food was good. Every night there were shows at the theatre side where a great team of Entertainers made us smile. During the day we sat at the beach or at the pool. I have to say the pool area was more alive as they had all kinds of activities during the day and the music was really cool. I couldn’t stop shacking my butt.

Gumbet was a small town but very clean and beautiful. There were enough places to go and enjoy a cocktail (and at our hotel the cocktails were for free...hmm I will miss you Malibu Sunset).

We went one day to Bodrum Centre and one afternoon to Bitez but that was it for the trip activities. We basically wanted to enjoy the perfect sun and perfect temperature all day along and we did. We laughed a lot and relaxed almost just as much.

We also experienced Turkish Bathing (given by two very sweet men) and Bali massages (given by two lovely girls form Bali and Jakarta). That massage was a dream, I have never been touched by a woman that way :)...you know what I mean you pervs.

I now know the dance moves form the song 'Ai se eu te pego' and I now understand and experienced it's true meaning ha ha. Oh and I realized that Turkish Delight is not only made from candy. That's it people I will say no more, what happens in Bodrum, stays in Bodrum.

In conclusion it was great, I liked the Turkish people and the way they live. I also liked the fact that some Turkish people are actually a mixture, a sweet cocktail of the countries that surround Turkey such as Bulgaria, Armenia, Iran etc. There are big differences between the 'Ibiza' life and the real traditional life and yet there is a balance between those two. It was strange to hear the Mosque calling out people to come and pray while we listened to Pitbull's international love and yet there is something beautiful about it. The streets are clean, people are very friendly and life is just so much different than here. It makes me wonder if that is the illusion it creates or is my own life so different that I stopped seeing, being the things that Turkey made me be. Anyone getting this? It might sound lame to some but the ones that get it, well, think about it as well.

I say, go to Gumbet, have fun, it's worth it. Go to Catamaran (disco club on a boat). I didn't and I will regret it for the rest of my life....well that sounds very exaggerated but let’s be real, the chances of going back there is kinda minimal.

Next year we would like to go to Turkey again but we would like to check out a few places and then pick one out. One thing is for sure: Turkey, you won a special place in my heart.


01 June 2012

Return of the Mack

Does anyone know that song? Return of the Mack? No, it has nothing to do with McDonalds...I think. So I guess I am back in business. Not that my eye is 100% better but at one point you think fuck it and you just quit all the medicine you got and then the moment comes when you actually feel better. The last drop was when I received new medicine for my eyes, yes for BOTH my eyes, because the medicine I had been using for two month gave me some kind of allergy...in both eyes. So I got some new medicine for allergies. I asked the doctor if he was sure whether I had allergies and not dry eyes. He didn't know. Then I got home and read the 'user manual' of my new medicine and guess what? Side effects: can cause dry eyes. So I thought fuck this shit. I did use the medicine like two weeks and then I just stopped using it all and decided to get me a glass eye. I ordered it on Amazon and it should be in any moment now. I ordered a set of different colors so they can match my outfit every day.

No, but seriously I am better now and so I will be more present on my lovely blog and I will continue publishing my lovely book which I changed like a thousands of times already because I just want it to be perfect. I am still stuggling with the bookcover. It has to be catchy, not too disgusting and not too...stupid. As soon I finish, I will let you guys know and you can all buy my book for only 50 euro's a piece. What? Too expensive? So was my glass eye set.

I guess something good came out of all of this. In the last few months I started paying more attention to my health. I started eating more healthy and became more aware of the things around us. Not that I've become some hippie weirdo but now I am more aware of what I eat. I mean I didn't actually know they use bug juice in the frapuccinos at Starbucks or that L-cysteine that we find in bread, pizza's etc is actually made of human hair and goose feathers. Shocked? Think of my face when I realized that shit is in the apple pie McDonalds makes, I stuffed myself with that crap for years. And there are many more shocking things but I won't bother you with it...today. I also check out the 'E' food additives when I buy something and I buy more biological products. Don't get me wrong I mean I think that even the biological products can be crap, after all, all these products are more expensive than the regular ones and the media is informing us every day how unhealthy we are. The market is doing a good job at informing us about how much shit is in the food they deliver and they give us a more expensive alternative. It's like saying 'hey I can give you a rotten rat or a rotten rat that ate banana's all its life. The last one is more expensive.' instead of saying 'sorry I have been feeding you rotten rats all these years, we will change our way of thinking and producing. From now on we will be putting your health above our money making fucked up mentality. Here, have a rotten egg.'

The best way of living healthy is going somewhere away from all of this, get rid of all the social media crap, kill my i-phone, move to the moutains, get a house, get some chicken, a cow, a cat, a dog and a horse, then plant your own vegetables and fruits and know exactly what shit you put in your mouth...most of the time. Become a blacksmith and make some swords so when strangers pass by I can chase them with my sharp weapons and scare the shit out of them. Have my own sweet water river and my own forest so that all the animals will salute me in the morning...except for the bear. I don't need him to say hello. I am thinking of getting such a place, I will call it...home? You may come and visit. I'll get you some home made whiskey and a hell of a meal. You may bring me a new glass eye so I can add it to my collection.

But for now I will settle for a week in Turkey, under the sun and above the hot sand. Hey, guess what, I am going there next week. See ya suckers!





11 March 2012

Eye See You

Sorry for not posting in a while but unfortunately eye am experiencing some functional problems, meaning my right eye is fucked up. Not something very serious...so they told me but eye can't read or write too long as my eye starts to hurt. It's called dry eyes because of the cold winter and dry weather. It can happen sometimes but it's the first time it happens to me.

Eye also got my eyes checked. Eye thought eye am getting thirty this year so who knows maybe my eyes want some glasses to mock my age.

Anyhooters (thank you RBC for teaching me this word). Eye am getting my eye treated at the moment and hope that soon eye can write again and read the damn books that have been waiting for ages.

Meanwhile my first 'Beastslayer' story is being printed so hopefully eye will be able to share that with you very soon.

And till then here is a poem by Adrian Mitchell that eye decided to share with you:

'When eye am sad and weary
When eye think all hope has gone
When eye walk along High Holborn
Eye think of you with nothing on'

26 February 2012

Vampire - Vasile Alecsandri

I came across this poem by accident in one of the oh so many books I have bought en have not yet read. I didn't even know I had it in my collection but when I saw it I felt proud. Vasile Alecsandi was one of the most famous poets in the Romanian culture and I give him a great salute for writing this poem. Enjoy.

Vampire

Near the cliff's sharp edge, on high
Standing out against the sky,
Dost thou see a ruined cross
Weatherstained, o'ergrown by moss,
Gloomy, desolate, forsaken,
By unnumbered tempests shaken?

Not a blade of grass grows nigh it,
Not a peasant lingers by it.
E'en the sombre bird of night
Shuns it in her darksome flight,
Startled by the piteous groan
That arises from the stone.

All around, on starless nights,
Myriad hosts of livid lights
Flicker fretfully, revealing
At its foot a phantom, kneeling
Whilst it jabbers dismal plaints,
Cursing God and all the saints.

Tardy traveller, beware
Of that spectre gibbering there;
Close your eyes, and urge your steed
To the utmost of his speed;--
For beneath that cross, I ween,
Lies a Vampyre's corpse obscene!

Though the night is black and cold
Love's found story, often told,
Floats in whispers through the air,
Stalwart youth and maiden fair
Seal sweet vows of ardent passion
With their lips, in lovers' fashion.

Restless, pale, a shape I see
Hov'ring nigh; what may it be?
'Tis a charger, white as snow,
Pacing slowly to and fro
Like a sentry. As he turns
Haughtily the sward he spurns.

'Leave me not, beloved, tonight!
Stay with me till morning's light!'
Weeping, thus besought the maid;
'Love, my soul is sore afraid!
Brave not the dread Vampyre's power,
Mightiest at this mystic hour!'

Not a word he spake, but prest
The sobbing maiden to his breast;
Kissed her lips and cheeks and eyes
Heedless of her tears and sighs;
Waved his hand, with gesture gay,
Mounted--smiled--and rode away.

We rides across the dusky plain
Tearing along with might and main
Like some wild storm-fiend, in his flight
Nursed on the ebony breast of Night?
'Tis he, who left her in her need--
Her lover, on his milk-white steed!

The blast in all its savage force
Strives to o'erthrow the gallant horse
That snorts defiance to his foe
And struggles onward. See! below
The causeway, 'long the river-side
A thousand flutt'ring flamelets glide!

Now they approach, and now recede,
Still followed by the panting steed;
He nears the ruined cross! A crash,
A piteous cry, a heavy splash,
And in the rocky river-bed
Rider and horse lie crushed and dead.


Then from those dismal depths arise
Blaspheming yells and strident cries
Re-echoing through the murky air
And, like a serpent from its lair,
Brandishing high a blood-stained glaive
The Vampyre rises from his grave!



And to all you Romanians out there:

Strigoiul

În prăpastia cea mare,
Unde vântul cu turbare
Suflă trist, înfricoșat,
Vezi o cruce dărâmată
Ce de vânt e clătinată,
Clătinată ne-ncetat?

Împrejur iarba nu crește
Și pe dânsa nu-și oprește
Nici o pasăre-al ei zbor;
Că sub dânsa-n orice vreme
Cu durere jalnic geme,
Geme-un glas îngrozitor.

Când e noapte fără stele,
Mii de flăcări albăstrele
Se văd tainic fluturând,
Și prin ele crunt deodată
O fantasmă se arată,
Se arată blestemând.

Călător nenorocite,
Fugi de-acele căi pocite
De ți-e calul de bun soi,
Că-n mormântul fără pace
Și sub cruce-acolo zace,
Zace singur un strigoi!



Într-o noapte-ntunecată
Dulce șoaptă-namorată
Prin văzduh încet zbura.
Două umbre sta în vale,
Ce, cuprinse-n dulce jale,
Amor vecinic își jura.

Iar pe-o culme-n depărtare
Se vedea mișcând la zare
Un cal alb, copil de vânt;
Coamele-i erau zburlite,
Ș-a lui sprintene copite
Săpau urme pe pământ.

Nu te duce, nu, bădiță!
(Zicea blânda copiliță

Cu ochi plânși, cu glas pătruns)
Ah! te jur pe sfânta cruce!
Stai cu mine, nu te duce...
Dar voinicul n-a răspuns;

Ci, strângând-o cu-nfocare,
După-o dulce sărutare,
Repede s-a depărtat
Și, sărind cu veselie
Pe-al său cal de voinicie,
În văzduh s-a afundat.




Cine-aleargă pe câmpie
Ca un duh de vijelie
Într-al nopții negru sân?
Cine fuge, cine trece
Pe la ceasul doisprezece?...
Un cal alb, cu-al său stăpân!

Vântul bate, vâjâiește,
Falnic calul se izbește,
De se-ntrec ca doi voinici.
Dar prin neguri iată, iată
Că lucesc pe câmp deodată
Mii de focurele mici.

Ele zbor, se depărtează.
Zboară calul, le urmează,
Pășind iute către mal.
Stai, oprește!... de pe stâncă,
În prăpastia adâncă
Au picat stăpân și cal!

Și-de-atunci în fund s-aude
Gemete, blăstemuri crude
Care trec pe-al nopții vânt.
Și de-atunci ades s-arată
O fantasmă-nfricoșată
Care iese din mormânt!

04 February 2012

My world, your world

Every time I want to start a sentence with 'have you ever?' I have the feeling I am talking to myself and that everyone around me thinks 'there she goes again.' But that does not stop me from doing it:

Have you ever felt like you belonged some place else?

I do feel I am not the only one in this thing even though my world is probably so much different than yours. But, all my life I have felt like I was born in the wrong place and wrong time like I was supposed to be somewhere else and someone just misplaced me. I still have the feeling like I am living in two worlds, one foot in each: the regular world and my world. My world can sometimes be so strong that it overrules the regular world and it changes my whole perspective of life. Sometimes the regular world just makes me so depressed because it's so...common and real no matter how far you travel and how much you have seen. I mean how many of you walk in the building they work in and think of being stabbed at that moment by an assassin then being rescued by their story hero? And that's just a slight glimpse of my daydreaming.

I guess, I sometimes feel like we work, shit, fuck, sleep in the regular world but that there is so much more in us we cannot express in the regular world because we are held down by society, the people around us, duties and just the way we were raised. In conclusion we cannot be ourselves. And some can be themselves, say whatever they want, do whatever they want, then I guess for those people this is their world. For the rest, the ones that think that they could be so much more in different circumstances and who feel they have never truly been themselves in this world, well, those are my people. There are men and women who look at themselves in the mirrors and feel ugly, yet from the inside feel like they have so much to offer if given a chance, others feel pretty from the outside but hope they are not only judged by their looks as they can be so much more. Anyone getting this?

When I was younger, around 12,13 I used to spend hours staring at the sky. Just staring, looking at the stars and dreaming away. Sometimes I would even feel like I was waiting for something or someone...who or what? I have no fucking idea and yet that feeling never seized. Even now I sometimes just dream away and think 'what the fuck am I doing here?' and the answer is always 'where the shit are you supposed to be then?'

I don't know maybe I am thinking it too much through or maybe it's because of that strong Romanian  booze I just drank but I just felt the urge of sharing this with you. Please tell me I am not the only one because if I am...I guess I need to visit that shrink that everyone so eagerly has been recommending me :)


24 January 2012

My To Do list for 2012

As long as we are on 'the end of the world in 2012' subject I have decided to make a To Do list. This is a list containing all the things I want to Do in 2012. For my own convenience I have decided to keep it a monthly action.

Remember... this year is the last year you live so you might as well do everything you have ever wanted to do...

January
Aidan Turner:
Being a vampire is hot. Being an Irish vampire and a Hobbit is Hotter!


February
Shakira: my first girl experience has to take place before the end of the world and who better than bellydancing Shakira?

March
Jon Snow: if anyone knows how to survive the end of the world then it's Jon Snow. And I'll probably be watching season 2 and be thinking about him.

April
Damon Salvotore: once again: being a vampire is just hot. Being an arrogant, well dressed vamp is hotter.

May
Selene or was it Kate? I liked my girl experience from Februari and I like vamps so why not mix it?

June
Chris...actually they call him THOR. Who else is closer to Heaven than Thor? Than again he's probably gonna split on Ragnarok but for now why not enjoy the moment and go to the beach or something.



July
Geralt. Geeks will get this. Looking like this? And I mean exactly like this with eyes, body and voice and all? Then you will do just fine.


August
Simon says let's play a little mind game. The Mentalist is good for my emotional state in August.

September
Elizabeth Hurley: who else? because I really enjoyed my last two girl experiences and because she is British and I love her accent.


October
Christian Bale. He made it through Equilibrium and through Batman and he looks great in a suit.

November
Wolverine. It's the jacket people!

December
Dean Winchester: Who else to protect me from the madness om the 21st than Dean? He's been through one before so I think he is experienced...I am talking about the Apocalypse...

Well, that was my To Do list, what's yours? I ain't sharin'

13 January 2012

2012 end of the world: Bitch Please

So I've been quite busy lately...I've been 9gaging regularly and the ocassion stare at the wall now and then. That pretty much takes all of my spare time. Anyhoe the 1st of March is my first book lauching day so I have...I will be able to make it on time. And if not...not.

I heard the new Hobbit movie will be released in December and I hope that will happen before the 21st. After all that's the perfect day to celebrate the end of the world. Have you noticed how there are a lot of disaster movies on tv lately? That will cheer us all up knowing that on that day the floor under us will fall apart and the sky will crash over our heads. But you know what the worst part of it all is? 21 December is on a Friday! Come on! Everyone is happy that it's almost weekend and then shit happens. So most people will probably be working on that day. Dieying with your collegues isn't the way you expected you'd go down, huh?

Now, I hope before then I will be able to see the new Batman, Underworld, Expendables, Snow White (not for the boring chick but for the hot Thor guy), and the Hobbit of course. I hope I'll be able to finish reading some of the books I've been buying over the years (the rest I'll read either in Heaven/Hell or walking around the Earth onb the 22nd of December feeling all Fall Outy). Have you seen the Book of Eli? I have and...well it seemed that the kind of book he was carrying was suppossed to be a mistery at the beginning of the movie. I must say I thought: it's after the end of the world, one book to choose, if I am correct then he must be carrying: Charles Dickens' Great Expectations.

So our 2012 just started and we need to be making plans until the 21st of December. Christmas can't be celebrated with all the bodyparts and dust lieying around so I guess we'll skip that this year and there is no point in sending everyone X-mas cards because most of them won't get to read them. I think I will be one of those people who will survive the Planet's wicked revenge but probably end up weeks later in the middle of a bunch of starving thugs...I've always hated zombies, might as well be killed by them. Until then I will continue my 9gaging, wall staring, book writing and eating healthy (if my destiny is to be eaten up then I might as well be tasty). And this story cannot end more perfectly than using the famous 9gag words: Bitch Please!